We respect everyone who stays on Paleo or whatever over the holidays, but if you choose to just indulge away, that’s cool too: Historically, the holidays are for spending time with friends and family, and eating copious amounts of food, after all. We’re sure we read that in a history book once.
If you are taking the opportunity to temporarily overindulge, you’re most definitely not alone. Here are just some of the stages of enjoying all of the food your stomach can possible handle during the holidays.
1. I’m just over here thinking about food…
What can I say, as the holidays approach, my brain starts to wander.
2. And when it comes to holiday eating, it’s important to get prepared.
There’s no half-assing this.
3. It’s the only time of year you can shop without guilt.
Just throw one of everything in the basket. We’re going to need all of those.
4. My food philosophy is simple.
Simple, but incredibly necessary.
5. It’s “eat what you want over the holidays.”
A mantra to live by.
6. My whole life has led me to this point.
I will never be more ready than I am right now.
7. Even my pants are ready.
Let the holiday season commence.
8. The first bite is always the most delicious.
I try to savor it, but I want more.
9. Why does food taste better over the holiday season?
Genuinely. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Because food.
10. I think I’m drunk. But not on alcohol.
On food. Is that a thing?
11. Even my beverages are mixed to a higher standard.
Who needs an excuse to mix festive cocktails?
12. I have never been happier than I am right now.
In another life, I was a delightful Chrismakkah elf, baking gingerbread cookies and delivering bottles of wine all day long.
13. But all of the eating means nothing without some quality TV.
Everyone needs some trashy entertainment while they snack. It helps the digestion. #science
14. And a message to all the beautiful food I couldn’t finish.
I loved you, even though I couldn’t have you.
15. Until next year.
Amy Mackelden is currently developing a show called MS Is My Boyfriend, about what multiple sclerosis is really like. Follow her on Twitter @AmyMackelden.